Miss Universe Leila Lopes shows Beauty Comes in All Colors



Photo by International Times

Shout out to Miss Universe 2011 Leila Lopes, who is a dark-skin stunner from the African nation of Angola! Lopes was simply gorgeous and has  the smarts to go with it! She was crowned Monday night in Brazil. "Thank God. I'm very satisfied with the way God created me and I wouldn't change a thing," Lopes responded to her interview question of what she would change of her physical characteristics. "I consider myself a woman endowed with inner beauty. I have acquired many wonderful principles from my family and I intend to follow these for the rest of my life."

What's on Your Minds Wednesdays

You've heard my thoughts...now it's time to share yours! What's on Your Minds Wednesday is a chance for you to do just that--let me know what's on your minds!

Division Perpetuated in 'Jumping the Broom'

Hello readers, and happy Monday! I am really angry today about a movie I rented on DVD over the weekend. I simply loved the movie and really enjoyed it, but was upset about one scene in it.

The movie was "Jumping the Broom." In the scene in question, an African American man hit on an African American woman. The woman was a stunning, dark-skinned sister, and during his rap he states, "I usually don't date dark-skinned women, but I am willing to make an exception." Wait a minute! What?!? Then to boot, at the end of the movie, a white woman asks him to dance and he looked to the heaven's and says, "Thank you." What in the world is going on here? If no one else recognizes that we have a serious problem in the African American community, I don't know what to do! We will never progress as a people if we continue to have the mentality that light is better. How can we have any argument with White America, if we don't love ourselves? I know this was just a movie, but we all know this happens in real life on a daily basis. For the writers to even feel comfortable putting the line in the movie speaks volumes. This is especially true because the star of the movie was a super light-skinned African American woman.

What are your thoughts?

What's on Your Minds Wednesdays

It's your turn to speak your mind! Whether you have been personally affected by the division in the black community, know someone who has or have experienced similar prejudice as a member of another minority group, I want to hear your story.

Oh, What a Difference a Few Shades Makes?

Happy Monday, readers! Do any of your friends ever give the impression that they are better if their skin is lighter? I grew up with several girls that I definitely wouldn't call friends, but simply associates. These associates thought their stuff didn't stink because they had lighter skin. Even though a few of them had features that were, in my opinion, not very becoming, they still thought they were the cat's meow. Even worse, they tried to make me feel like I was less-than because of my darker skin, and often spoke ill of other dark-skinned girls when I was around.
Do you continue to associate with the likes of people like this even though they dis' us chocolate sistas, because you feel better being around them? Is so, share your story! Let me know how you have experienced this kind of hatered within the black community.

Football is back! I am so happy because I love me some football. I actually wish my summer away waiting for those Sunday afternoon games during the crisp fall and winter months. Since I love the game, I took the time to watch NFL Wives this past season. It was disturbing to see how the females interacted with one another, still not able to uplift one another to the full extent that African American females should be doing. It seems there is always a back-stabber in every group, willing to sell completely out in order to get ahead. It is sad, but very true that white women, though they may talk about each other, when the chips are down, they won't go against each other.

Is there a back stabber in your group? Are you willing to let go of a particular clique in order to spread your wings? Or are you stuck thinking you have no way out and you have to suffer through in order to remain likable by the other girls in the clique? Life is too short. Remember, you can do bad all by your lonesome, so cut 'em loose!

What's on Your Minds Wednesdays

Now it's your turn to share! I want to hear what's on your minds!

A Message to Parents

Growing up in a world where being light would have been alright, was not easy since I wasn't light! I noticed some differences in the way I was treated as oppossed to my lighter-skinned sister. I vowed when I was younger never to show any differernces toward my children in case their shades were totally different, like ours are.

Well, I ended up marrying someone outside my race, and have biracial children. I still make it a point to show the same love toward my children even though they are very different. My suggestion to anyone in a situation where one child is darker than another, especially if they are girls like in my situation, is too never make a reference about skin tone in a negative way. Always point out the beauty in all shades of color and always let them know that African American is African American, from the darkest to the lightest. Take time to spend with each child (which should be done anyway, whether they look different or not), and always create special moments with each of them separately and together.

Bleaching Is for Clothes

My new article, "Bleaching Is for Clothes" will appear in the summer issue of Monarch Magazine, available in bookstores Monday! The article talks about the prevalence of skin bleaching in not only the African American community, but also in other non-white racial groups as well. The article also discusses corporate responsibility as well as our own individual responsibilities to rectify the situation.

Open Forum Wednesdays

Open Forum Wednesday is back! What is on your mind? Whether you've been on the receiving end of discrimination because of your beautiful dark skin, you've discriminated against someone because of their skin color, or if you were unaware that "color-struckness" was even an issue, I want to hear your story. Please share. Communication is the only way to stop this cycle.

The Willie Lynch Letter

Have you ever heard of the Willie Lynch Letter? I hadn't heard of it until I was around 35 years old. A portion of the letter is as follows. Let me know what you think. Is this an excuse for our continued ignorance against each other?

[Beginning of the Willie Lynch Letter]

 

Greetings,

Gentlemen I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First, I shall thank you, the gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies, where I have experimented with some of the newest, and still the oldest, methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King, whose version of the Bible we cherish, I saw enough to know that your problem is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along its highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasions. I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree, a couple miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, and slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, you suffer occasional fires, and your animals are killed. Gentlemen, you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems; I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING YOUR BLACK SLAVES. I guarantee every one of you that, if installed correctly, IT WILL CONTROL THE SLAVES FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On top of my list is “AGE,” but it’s there only because it starts with an “a.” The second is “COLOR” or shade. There is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations, ATTITUDE of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don’t forget, you must pitch the OLD black male vs. the YOUNG black male, and the YOUNG black male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE, and the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have white servants and overseers [who] distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen.”

Open Forum Wednesdays

Open Forum Wednesdays are back! Please share your experiences and thoughts. I realize this is a personal issue, but we will never get the opportunity to heal without communication.

Blackie

My oh my, how many times have I heard that word “Blackie”?  Along with tar baby, purple, ashy, Ms. Night, grease monkey and any other negative words someone could conjure up about my skin tone to try and cut me down. The words came from my own family, and other associates from the black community, which really hurt. It was a tough pill to swallow because I and many other dark-skinned children weren’t shown any value from most adults in my community, simply because our skin was dark. This attitude trickled down to their children, and one could then understand why the children acted that way. Just like African Americans always complain about the white man teaching their children racism toward us, we do a pretty good job ourselves of causing division in our own community by making such stark differences in light or dark skin. Each time I think of that fact, even as I’m writing this, I continue to be puzzled. How in the world could we allow ourselves to be bamboozled, to the point that we carry this nonsense on for hundreds of years? In my opinion, it is one of the primary reasons our community has not come together like so many other races have. We will sell each other out in a minute, to get ahead in this country. What do you think?

 

Dark Girl Documentary

Hello Readers,

 

My blog for today is that I would like all of you to simply take time to watch a preview of an upcoming documentary. Here is the link:
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhK74w6Kq9EYOd7H03.

It's incredibly powerful. I could see myself and hear my story through all of these women.

Open Forum Wednesdays

What's on your mind today?

Monday Madness Has Me Considering Tanning Beds

I'm referring to today as "Monday Madness," because of all the rain we are getting here in the Midwest. I remember how I used to hide from the sun—now I bask in it. Last week I mentioned I was on a cruise, but failed to mention the super dark tan I got while I was there. Well, now I am starting to peel and would not mind going to a tanning bed to regain that luscious deep bronze look I had. Would anyone of you go to a tanning salon, or have any of you ever been?

Open Forum Wednesdays

It's back! It's Open Forum Wednesday! Time to tell me what's on your mind. The only way we can unite and put an end to this issue once and for all is through communication...so let's get started today!

Enlightening Cruise

Hello Blog Readers,

I have been away on a much needed vacation. I took a seven-day cruise and visited many different places. It was interesting to sit back and watch different people on the ship and on the islands. I was with my husband and children, but was surprised to find that two black men continued to hit on me whenever they saw me alone. First off, I have to admit it was very flattering because they were indeed gorgeous and had perfect physiques to boot! I also have to admit that I was surprised to see that they were hitting on a few other sexy chocolate sisters I had seen on the ship. They seemed to be there with a family reunion group, though I didn't ask them too many questions, because I'm married and didn't want to show too much interest. During our brief conversation, we talked about my observations of Puerto Rico. I had not been there in 20 years and found there were many changes.

I loved the way the Puerto Rican people seemed to embrace everyone. They showed no distinction between darker or lighter people; everyone just seemed to show respect and love toward the tourists, as well as each other. I make it a point to closely observe this type of thing in different settings because it interests me so much. Also, I saw a lot of interracial couples on the ship, and most were black women with white men. This seems to be more and more prevalent than in the past. It was a very interesting cruise. 

I realize I have touched on several topics in this blog post. Let me know your thoughts on any topic I've brought up, and also let me know if you have cruised before and if you like it. Make this a great Monday!

Open Forum Wednesdays

It's Open Forum Wednesday! Time to speak your mind!!

A Nubian Princess for the Wrong Reasons?

Ladies, have you ever had a brother call you a Nubian princess? Well, I had one call me that the other day, and also tell me he was married to a light-skinned sister, but truly liked women my complexion. What? I truly wanted to smack him, because he sounded like he thought he was doing me a huge favor by paying me this underhanded compliment. 

First off, I would never disrepect any of my sisters, light or dark, by succumbing to such a scandal. Second of all, I am a princess in my mind and probaly the minds of many others, but I am almost 100% sure he was referring to my chocolate skin. 

Should I be offended?

Open Forum Wednesdays

Yes, it's that time again! Tell me what's on your mind. How has this all-too-common issue impacted your life? Were you on both sides of the issue...a reformed color-struck person? What made you see the light?

Misconceptions Surrounding Slavery Perpetuated

I watched an interview of Terrence Howard on one of the late night programs, and he was talking about a house that he owns. The house apparently has a 300-ft. underground tunnel that leads into the woods, that slaves used as an escape route. He spoke about introducing the tunnel to his children, and she that he explained that it was the escape route for slaves. He asked them if they would like to possibly go in, and he stated, "They said, 'Why do we have to go in? We're light skinned. We can pass.'" He and the host laughed. 

I was thinking how inappropriate the comment was, because light-skinned people endured the hardships of slavery, just as the dark-skinned slaves did. It's this type of teaching that continues to encourage the ignorance in our community about the light-skinned, dark-skinned issue.

Open Forum Wednesdays

Tell me what's on your mind... What are your experiences? How has this issue impacted your life? Were you ever on the other end of the issue...being color struck yourself?

Does Light = Nice?

I was watching a comedian on HBO, and he made a statement I was a little confused by. He was saying a lot of raunchy stuff, then after saying it stated, "I bet the audience is thinking he's suppose to be nice; he's light skinned." Things got relatively quiet after he made the comment, a few chuckled, but most seemed baffled, like I was. Sometimes, I think this problem is bigger than I even thought, because of stupid statements like that. The comedian probably actually thinks he may appear a little less threatening because he has lighter skin. Can someone, anyone, shed some light on his comment?

Open Forum

Today is an open forum. I would like to hear from you. Tell me some of your stories about the dark-skin, light-skin issue. I would like to hear from people who have had hurtful things said to them about their skin color. Then, on the flip side, I would like to hear from the people who may have said some hurtful things and why.

Black Hollywood

Do you think there are enough dark-skinned actresses portrayed in Hollywood? Stupid question, I know. But what can we do to change that? What can we really do?

Brown Paper Bag Rule

Back in the early 1900s, the first black sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Inc., had a rule that if a potential candidate was darker than a brown paper bag, she would not be considered for the sorority. About a year ago, I overheard a member of this sorority make a statement about another member. She stated, "She was surprised she was able to get in, being she was EXTREMELY dark." I was taken back, but made no comment because the girl who made the statement is a close friend of the family. I pose the question, does this underlying inside racism still exist in the world of sororities and fraternities?

The "N" Word, Revisited

I teach a business course and have two men in my class. I had my husband bring in some of our mouth-watering, homemade pizza to surprise my group. We had been having deep discussions about race (my entire class is African American), and the fact that I'm in an interracial marriage never came up. My husband delivered the pizza, and they saw him for the first time. 

Later, toward the end of class, one student asked if the word "nigger" ever came up in my house. I explained that I use the word almost every day, and that didn't seem to sit well with him. The student asked what I would do if my husband ever called me a nigger. I replied that it would definately cause some problems. The student then wanted to know why I used it if I didn't want him to. I explained that I use it as a term of endearment, and don't see it as a problem. The student seemed a little perturbed; but do I care? NO! 

Do you think the word "nigger" should be given so much power, or should it be a word that is freely used within our own race?

You're Pretty...For a Dark Girl

"You're so pretty to be dark"! 

How many times have I heard that oh, so tired statement coming from none other than who? "Black" people. Why can't I just be pretty? If it's meant to be a compliment, it's just the opposite—it's an insult. 

What do you think my people? Is it a compliment or an insult?

It's Our Right! Or Is It?

Hello all, sorry I missed posting a few blogs. I had been out a town for a minute. This week's blog poses the question "Is it our right"? 

Is it our right as African American women to voice a verbal or written opinion when we see brothers liking or loving only white women? This blog will usually focus on the trials and tribulations of growing up dark skinned, but I recently read another article about our boy Tiger Woods and I thought I would put the question out there. I have absolutely no problem with interracial marriages, because I am actually in one myself, but I do have a problem when it seems that certain people, and  black men in particular, only seem to entertain white women! 

I believe in loving whoever loves you back and whoever treats you well, but I will never accept that rationale from someone who seems to have never even attempted to date someone within their own race. Now what I am about to say will really get some people's blood boiling, but what the heck, I am gonna say it anyway! I can truly understand why black women date outside of their race, but find it hard to understand why black men won't make several attempts to stick within their race, before going to another. As I stated before, if you happen to just fall in love with someone outside of the black race, and it is clearly a match made in heaven, so be it. But when someone will only attempt to date outside of their race, then there is clearly a problem. 

So should we get our necks all tight over men like Tiger Woods, or should we not care?

Painful Names

I recently struck up a conversation with a beautiful sister on the bus I ride home, who is also a rich dark chocolate. We began to share stories of being called names like "grease monkey," "tar baby" and "blacky," just to name a few, by black boys growing up. We spoke about the pain it caused us, and the self esteem issues we both experienced. Her accuser, however, ended up asking her to the prom several years after the name calling started. She, of course, rejected his offer, which made me very happy to hear.

What do you all think about her rejection? Should she have gone to the prom with him?

Light Skinned vs. Dark Skinned

I would like to start my blog by discussing a party that was going to be held in the Columbus, Ohio, area, titled "Light Skinned vs. Dark Skinned." OMGosh and WTFreak! This is exactly what I am talking about. Why must we continue to perpetrate the ignorance on this subject matter? Did someone actually think this was something to bring us together as a people? If so they should have thought again. This just continues to divide and make the skin-color issue, an issue when it should not be.

Welcome to my blog!

Growing up as a brown-skinned African-American woman, I experienced hardship due to the color of my skin. Whether it be rude comments (intentional and unintentional) or outright discrimination, being made aware that black is beautiful…as long as it’s not too black, wore on my self-esteem as a young girl. While this issue seems to be prevalent amongst all ethnic races, it is especially common in the African-American community. The “color-struck” ideology has divided and destroyed communities and even families. Although it is prevalent, it is not often talked about, so those of us who are made to feel devalued because of the rich, beautiful, dark tone of our skin are forced to suffer in silence, and often feel like we are alone.

It’s time to break the silence—and that’s what “This Black On Me” is all about. I wish to share some of my personal experiences, as well as bring attention to the on-going struggle to break this cycle in our community.