Brown Paper Bag Rule

Back in the early 1900s, the first black sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Inc., had a rule that if a potential candidate was darker than a brown paper bag, she would not be considered for the sorority. About a year ago, I overheard a member of this sorority make a statement about another member. She stated, "She was surprised she was able to get in, being she was EXTREMELY dark." I was taken back, but made no comment because the girl who made the statement is a close friend of the family. I pose the question, does this underlying inside racism still exist in the world of sororities and fraternities?

The "N" Word, Revisited

I teach a business course and have two men in my class. I had my husband bring in some of our mouth-watering, homemade pizza to surprise my group. We had been having deep discussions about race (my entire class is African American), and the fact that I'm in an interracial marriage never came up. My husband delivered the pizza, and they saw him for the first time. 

Later, toward the end of class, one student asked if the word "nigger" ever came up in my house. I explained that I use the word almost every day, and that didn't seem to sit well with him. The student asked what I would do if my husband ever called me a nigger. I replied that it would definately cause some problems. The student then wanted to know why I used it if I didn't want him to. I explained that I use it as a term of endearment, and don't see it as a problem. The student seemed a little perturbed; but do I care? NO! 

Do you think the word "nigger" should be given so much power, or should it be a word that is freely used within our own race?

You're Pretty...For a Dark Girl

"You're so pretty to be dark"! 

How many times have I heard that oh, so tired statement coming from none other than who? "Black" people. Why can't I just be pretty? If it's meant to be a compliment, it's just the opposite—it's an insult. 

What do you think my people? Is it a compliment or an insult?

It's Our Right! Or Is It?

Hello all, sorry I missed posting a few blogs. I had been out a town for a minute. This week's blog poses the question "Is it our right"? 

Is it our right as African American women to voice a verbal or written opinion when we see brothers liking or loving only white women? This blog will usually focus on the trials and tribulations of growing up dark skinned, but I recently read another article about our boy Tiger Woods and I thought I would put the question out there. I have absolutely no problem with interracial marriages, because I am actually in one myself, but I do have a problem when it seems that certain people, and  black men in particular, only seem to entertain white women! 

I believe in loving whoever loves you back and whoever treats you well, but I will never accept that rationale from someone who seems to have never even attempted to date someone within their own race. Now what I am about to say will really get some people's blood boiling, but what the heck, I am gonna say it anyway! I can truly understand why black women date outside of their race, but find it hard to understand why black men won't make several attempts to stick within their race, before going to another. As I stated before, if you happen to just fall in love with someone outside of the black race, and it is clearly a match made in heaven, so be it. But when someone will only attempt to date outside of their race, then there is clearly a problem. 

So should we get our necks all tight over men like Tiger Woods, or should we not care?

Painful Names

I recently struck up a conversation with a beautiful sister on the bus I ride home, who is also a rich dark chocolate. We began to share stories of being called names like "grease monkey," "tar baby" and "blacky," just to name a few, by black boys growing up. We spoke about the pain it caused us, and the self esteem issues we both experienced. Her accuser, however, ended up asking her to the prom several years after the name calling started. She, of course, rejected his offer, which made me very happy to hear.

What do you all think about her rejection? Should she have gone to the prom with him?

Light Skinned vs. Dark Skinned

I would like to start my blog by discussing a party that was going to be held in the Columbus, Ohio, area, titled "Light Skinned vs. Dark Skinned." OMGosh and WTFreak! This is exactly what I am talking about. Why must we continue to perpetrate the ignorance on this subject matter? Did someone actually think this was something to bring us together as a people? If so they should have thought again. This just continues to divide and make the skin-color issue, an issue when it should not be.

Welcome to my blog!

Growing up as a brown-skinned African-American woman, I experienced hardship due to the color of my skin. Whether it be rude comments (intentional and unintentional) or outright discrimination, being made aware that black is beautiful…as long as it’s not too black, wore on my self-esteem as a young girl. While this issue seems to be prevalent amongst all ethnic races, it is especially common in the African-American community. The “color-struck” ideology has divided and destroyed communities and even families. Although it is prevalent, it is not often talked about, so those of us who are made to feel devalued because of the rich, beautiful, dark tone of our skin are forced to suffer in silence, and often feel like we are alone.

It’s time to break the silence—and that’s what “This Black On Me” is all about. I wish to share some of my personal experiences, as well as bring attention to the on-going struggle to break this cycle in our community.